He would therefore be having her at every opportunity. It had seemed a good idea at the time but now I did feel somewhat apprehensive.She had said that she was sexually attracted to him. Was it just because he was new to her, or was there something else? She had said that he was good in bed. Yes, she had also pointed out that he was no better than me, but when I thought about it, I recognised that she would hardly have said otherwise, would she? Moreover, she was reluctant to tell me what they had got up to the previous Saturday night. Was it just her natural discretion or might the reason for her reticence be that she had enjoyed it more than she had wanted to let on? I knew he was a bit bigger than me - there are no secrets in the showers after a football match - but Clare had already ridiculed the notion that size matters. But could she have said that so as not to hurt my pride?Perhaps I was being paranoid. After all the whole business had been my idea in the first place. I knew. I was to be bought and paid for but it is all a little fuzzy in my head, but now I was not with a nice Korean man, it was a white American.I know he did things to me, and I hurt between my legs, so he must have done something to me. But what do I do? I am afraid and I want to go home. I don't speak American so I am really afraid.I am being held by the man. He is not trying to hurt me but he is holding me. Now he is awake and looking at me, he is smiling, at least I think he is smiling. Now he is holding me closer.What do I feel? Oh, it is his thing and he is moving against me. Until last night I have never known a man and now I am sure that he had sex with me and he wants to do it again.He is much bigger than I am. I am only 87 pounds and four foot ten, small even for a Korean girl. At eighteen I look like I am twelve. I have no real breasts, just little bumps, but he is enjoying playing with them. Should I let him continue? How can I stop him even if I wanted to? What do I mean.
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